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Should We date someone that we don’t plan to marry him/her?

Hot Question ever!

You should or should not, no one can answer confidently because we cannot predict what the exact things are in your mind, and what kind of date it is. And all reasons provided, you definitely cannot get at all. But, at least, those reasons, why or why not, can flash your way to consider you should stop or continue.

To answer this question is to study a few cases that lead to this situation.

Case 1: You have an indirect connection with him/her

When you asked this question, perhaps, you have been in an indirect relationship with them for a short or long time ago. There can be through social media such as Facebook, messenger...etc. This means that your feeling in this relationship more than just friends, but not also a couple. In this long indirect connection, you two are open to each other to learn, feel, consider and choose. Eventually, your partner becomes formal with you by asking you to date with while you are losing your interest with them from day to day because you find out that they are not someone who you prefer to marry. This is the reason makes you hesitate. You don’t want to give them hope, but you also think that you can lose a good chance.

If you are in this case: My answer is YOU SHOULD

Why? Because it is just a stage of observing. You are not clear with them, they are not also sure with you in this situation. The ways you review them through social media what kind of person they are can be different from their reality.

For example, They are more likely to post or share about entertainment on social media, but you are like inspiration content. It can be just a small part of their lives or related to their businesses, not about them at all. Unexpectedly, you might find something more particular than what you think. Joining this date, you can take a step more to see clearly, and experience more.

Case 2: you feel loving but too worried

Through life experience, people tend to do something that can set their lives in the future full of happiness. So, we have our own plans, even plan what kind of person we will marry one day. But you know, not all plans are confirmed by our heart. All things that come to your life first, are the first ones that can influence you and can be a part of you. Immediately, you think that those kinds of things are not influential to your goal, but they already state in your heart, at least a little.

In this situation, I would like to say that you SHOULD.

Why? Because it is not far enough from the first case. You can still date with them to learn each other. Even though you think they are not your standard, the right one has not come yet. Take a step with them, but you have to balance your mind. Don’t give them a lot of hope. Take some precaution speech to make sure two parties will agree if things go wrong.

For instance, someone who comes to flirt with you is not your standard to be together for a long-term relationship. You politely decline with him. But if you ask whether or not you can date with him, at this moment, I guess that you are also interested in them. They also have something special to make you feel that it can be good to be with them, rather than waiting for someone that you cannot know when they come.

Case 3: You are assured You will never marry him/her

Here you are ready to marry someone else, but they still insist to date with you and hope you can choose them. In fact, you absolutely cannot.

So, why can’t you decide not to date with them by yourself?

Why do you need to ask this question?

Why? Because there is still something left in your mind. you and he/she have been together for a long time, but often you see something inappropriate from them, so your mind becomes reticent with him/her or which situation forces you to have to marry another one (note: this is your own decision). But, at least, they have something positive that you used to get from them, and still influence your mind silently. You want to stop, but you also want to test again and again whether something can be replenished or not.

For this situation, You Should Not

Why? Maybe you are engaged by them every day. And now you are in the middle of hesitation whether you can still keep a relationship with them or not. You have to leave them away. Don’t give them hope anymore. And make sure the one you have chosen to marry in the future is your standard, your decision, and your happiness.

Last words

To date with someone is not about something right or wrong. The matter is what the date will be made for, and suit with what you want or not.

 

Authored by:

Udom KROCH (22, Male), A Khmer&English Article Writer in PLAN-B Cambodia, a leading Japanese IT company.

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